“I have been a Christian for a long time now, but I don’t know that I’ve ever really felt close to God. Other people seem to have a more personal relationship with him and I wonder if I am missing something or whether I’m just expecting too much”
So often God feels distant to us yet we believe that God is very close to others. This perception can be very damaging as it makes us feel that we must be doing something wrong. It can even make some people give up on their faith.
It is necessary to first realise that you are not alone. Many people have found their relationship with God to be a difficult one in terms of God being distant or even seemingly absent. One way of dealing with this situation is to start to listen to the Gospel as a story so that it can become alive for you. To help do this you can learn about praying in different ways — perhaps using imaginary prayer where you become someone in the Gospel story you have just read. This can be enabled by learning to relax in prayer and doing three things. Firstly, step out of the busy-ness of life in which we are being pulled in too many different directions. Secondly, focus on God and the Christ within-us so that you are not so distracted by the many different things that you are dealing with in your life. Thirdly, put to one side the anxieties which crowd in on you and learn to trust in the God of the present moment. In doing these three things you may find that you have a glimpse of God which can sustain you until the next glimpse! Be kind to yourself and do not set yourself up for a fall — just try doing it for five or ten minutes at the same time each week until it can become part of your routine and then if time expand the five or ten minutes to fifteen or twenty and so on.
If you are struggling with your relationship with God why not try going on a Quiet Day or a retreat (contact the Retreat Association to find out where your local, or further a field, Retreat House is). You may also find it helpful to find a spiritual director or soul friend who is someone who is a little more advanced on the spiritual journey than yourself who can help you in your journey. Some Retreat Houses, like Launde Abbey, run day courses or weekends on different forms of prayer which you may find useful while also offering spiritual direction.